Quite a few times, I wish I could start my life all over again. Although it may sound like a masochistic thought, thinking about the implications of something like that made me feel great. What can we actually ask more than a brain “cleaned” from all unconscious thoughts, misconceptions, negative states of minds when things seem to go wrong? I would even picture myself in this “utopia” where I would be in possession of my previous knowledge so that I wouldn’t make the same mistakes again and waist my time stupidly.
It is true that acting to bring changes in our lives can sometimes help us to cope with certain events or moods. One of the most striking experiences I have ever had was a year long obsession. After numerous attempts, I finally found the formula that helped me getting rid of this: occupy my brain with more interesting activities than the “object” of my obsession (which was, I admit, quite difficult) and remaining away from everything that could remind me of it. I forgot about my obsession and was also able to assess the problem more objectively as I distanced myself from it.
However, escaping from or forcing ourselves to forget feelings and experiences that affected or is affecting us badly is rarely a solution.
Rather, I think we should try to embrace each of our mistakes, false approaches, weird feelings, wrong thoughts, moments of failure we have in our lives.
It is true that wrong steps shows us what the right ones are and help us building ourselves. But sometimes, instead of using our experiences as means (whether it is to get a better future, a better understanding of the world or a more self-confident and mature self) we should look at them as ends, i.e. what they really are. By directly affecting our thoughts and feelings, interfering with our future actions, residing in our memories, our mistakes makes us who we are. They constitute the toughest part of us that is the one we should be the most proud of.
Our mistakes make us. Our mistakes are us. We are our mistakes.
If we learn how to embrace and love them, we learn how to embrace and love ourselves.
If you wish to start everything from scratch, first look into yourself and love what you find.